I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I could never do that.”
It usually comes right after I share a piece of my story like moving across the world with three kids, working for an ambulance helicopter team, or leaving a comfortable job to start again.
There’s often admiration in their voice, but also something quieter underneath.
A belief.
A story.
An obstacle to opportunity.
I hear it all the time in coaching, too.
“I’m not ready for that promotion.”
“I could never speak up in that meeting.”
“I’m not that kind of person.”
But why?
Why can’t you do the thing?
What’s really holding you back?
Every one of those statements is a story.
Most of the time, those stories aren’t malicious or lazy. They come from a place of safety. At some point, they protected us. They helped us survive hard things. Fear, after all, has good intentions.
It’s trying to keep us from falling, from failing, from being hurt again.
But what got you here won’t get you there.
That same story that once kept you safe can quietly start to keep you small.
When I sit with clients, I don’t try to argue them out of their stories. I get curious. I ask where that belief came from, how long they’ve carried it, and what it’s done for them.
Sometimes it goes all the way back to childhood, usually to the moment someone learned that being agreeable or invisible was the safest way to belong.
And so we start there.
Not by pushing the fear away, but by thanking it for how it helped.
Then we gently ask, Do I still need this?
That said, we can’t just force a new story on ourselves and expect change to happen. Growth happens when you understand the old story well enough to let it go.
When you can look at fear with compassion instead of judgment, it starts to loosen its grip. It becomes just another part of you -one that once served a purpose, but no longer needs to hold you back.
So today, maybe pause for a moment and listen to the story that runs under your breath.
Notice where it tries to keep you safe.
Thank it for its service.
And then ask yourself if it’s time for a rewrite.
Courage isn’t pretending the fear isn’t there.
It’s acknowledging how you feel right now and choosing to grow anyway.
If you’re noticing the edges of an old story but aren’t sure what comes next, that’s where our work could begin.
You can learn more about my coaching here or book a conversation in my calendar.
Speak soon,
Erica
Executive & Leadership Coach
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